from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize