god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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