I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Life is so much better after having sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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