**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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