I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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