I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
