oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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