is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You brought string cheese to the strip club
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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