In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
