ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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