I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize