Kiss
Puke
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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