I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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