no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
