dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
