It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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