More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
