Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
