Pappa wants mamma naked
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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