I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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