OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
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also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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