he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
