I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
