Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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