A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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