ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
