Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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