I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize