Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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