My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
