Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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