I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
