I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
These tits shall not be calmed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
