Porn is love you can see.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
