dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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