Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
