with your own penis?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize