I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
