you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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