I want to have your abortion
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
