You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
