the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
