If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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