I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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