fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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