I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
try to milk me bitch
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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