so that wasnt chicken after all
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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