Cold hands, warm shart.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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