Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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