are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
