who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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