What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
