I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
