I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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