Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
