ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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