I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize