i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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