You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
