after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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