I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
