i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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