Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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