You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
