I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
